📍 SCENE: A high-end rooftop party, where the rich and clueless gather to flex. But one brand’s about to get dragged off the edge.

🟥 MG (Marin Golub), 🟨 OV (Off-White), and 🟩 GU (Gucci) posted up, sipping overpriced drinks.
👜 LV (Louis Vuitton) walks in, acting like the king of luxury.

👑 ROUND 1: WHEN A BRAND THINKS IT’S TOO BIG TO FAIL

👜 LV: Gentlemen, you’re all trying so hard. But true luxury… is timeless.

🟨 OV: Nigga, your brand timeless because it’s been looking the SAME since the Titanic sank.

🟥 MG: LV been using the same monogram for so long, I’m convinced y’all lost the login to Photoshop.

🟩 GU: That logo got more spam placements than a fake Instagram giveaway.

👜 LV: Our history speaks for itself!

🟨 OV: Yeah, it says 'HELP! WE CAN’T STOP MAKING TOTE BAGS!'

🟥 MG: LV fans really be out here dressed like airport luggage claim.

🟩 GU: Niggas out here paying thousands to look like a UPS package.

💀 ROUND 2: TOO MANY COLLABS, NOT ENOUGH QUALITY

🟨 OV: Why LV collab with EVERYBODY? Nigga, y’all out here partnering with anyone who can hold a Sharpie.

🟥 MG: LV be like 'collab' and slap a new logo on the same dusty ass duffel bag.

🟩 GU: LV collabs are like McDonald’s limited edition burgers—different name, same nasty ass ingredients.

🟨 OV: Y’all turned a historic brand into Supreme for old people.

👜 LV: We innovate with our artistic partners!

🟥 MG: Nigga, your 'art' be looking like a preschooler’s notebook after they discover highlighters.

🟩 GU: Y’all had Virgil for a few years and thought slapping 'LOUIS VUITTON' in big letters was peak creativity.

🟨 OV: Bro, you made a $50,000 airplane-shaped bag. Who tf flying with that?!

🟥 MG: Nigga, LV made a bag that look like it belong in a Hot Wheels set.

🚨 ROUND 3: THE CUSTOMER BASE—FROM ROYALTY TO ROBLOX KIDS

👜 LV: Our customers appreciate true craftsmanship.

🟨 OV: Yeah, if by 'customers' you mean Dubai scammers and 14-year-olds flexing their dad’s credit card.

🟥 MG: LV used to be for royalty. Now y’all biggest fans are Instagram models and TikTok resellers.

🟩 GU: Nigga, your brand more diluted than a bar’s happy hour cocktails.

🟨 OV: Y’all lost the plot when niggas started wearing head-to-toe monogram like it’s camo.

🟥 MG: LV went from crafting bags for world travelers to dressing niggas who still ask their mom for V-Bucks.

🟩 GU: LV belts used to mean 'I made it.' Now they mean 'I just got my first Klarna account.'

🔥 FINAL SCORE

✅ Marin Golub: Luxury with exclusivity, not desperation.
✅ Off-White: Still makes questionable shit, but at least it’s not for toddlers flexing on Snapchat.
✅ Gucci: Goofy, but at least not as oversaturated as LV.
❌ Louis Vuitton: Once the king of luxury, now the king of getting clowned.