📍 SCENE: The gang suddenly wakes up in a strange, foggy room. A massive golden pearly gate stands to one side, while a flaming pit bubbles on the other. A celestial-looking judge sits at a giant podium in the middle.

⚖️ Judge: Welcome to Purgatory. Before you enter Heaven or Hell, we must determine where you belong.

🟩 GU: Yo, we dead?!

🟥 MG: Nigga, we was just eating breakfast five minutes ago!

🟨 OV: Nahhh, I knew that gas station sushi was too cheap.

⚖️ Judge: Enough! Each of you shall be judged for your sins and virtues.

He flips open an ancient-looking book and starts reading.

⚖️ Judge: First up… MG.

🟥 MG: Aight, hit me with it.

⚖️ Judge: You donated to charity… once. However, you also roasted someone so bad in middle school that they changed schools.

🟥 MG: Bruh, they shouldn’t have worn Sketchers with a Gucci belt.

⚖️ Judge: So, neutral balance. Next… GU.

🟩 GU: I ain’t even do nothin’ crazy.

⚖️ Judge: You helped an old lady cross the street… but then stole her parking spot at Walmart five minutes later.

🟩 GU: Bruh, first come, first serve.

⚖️ Judge: Again, neutral balance. Next… OV.

🟨 OV: Man, I already know y’all tryna send me to Hell.

⚖️ Judge: You never returned a shopping cart… ever.

🟨 OV: Ayo, I ain't a damn cart valet.

⚖️ Judge: You also subscribed to Netflix’s Basic Plan.

😈 Satan: poking his head out from Hell Oh nah, bring his ass down right now.

😇 Angel: steps in Wait, wait! But he held the door open for strangers!

😈 Satan: Nigga, that don’t cancel out Netflix's race-swapped disaster shows.

The argument escalates. Soon, everyone is yelling over each other. Heaven and Hell start beefing.

😇 Angel: At least we don’t let billionaires slide while throwing broke people in Hell!

😈 Satan: Oh, please. Y’all let Jeffrey Dahmer in just because he said sorry.

⚖️ Judge: ENOUGH!

The entire room shakes. Everyone goes quiet.

⚖️ Judge: All of you are too mid for either Heaven or Hell. Your fate… is the waiting room.

A trapdoor opens, dropping them into a dull, gray room with no windows, no TV, and only one magazine.

🟩 GU: Nigga, this some doctor’s office purgatory.

🟥 MG: Yo, this worse than Hell!

🟨 OV: Nah, who got the magazine?

MAGAZINE COVER: TOP 10 FEMALE CEOs

They all groan.