📍 SCENE: The crew walks into a Montblanc boutique, looking confused as hell. The store is quiet as a library, with everything neatly arranged like a museum exhibit. A sales associate in a tuxedo-level suit approaches.

🖊️ MONTBLANC: Welcome to Montblanc, gentlemen. How may I assist you?

🟥 MG: Nigga, why the fuck we in a store that sells pens?

🟨 OV: For real, why y’all acting like pens is a luxury item? A Bic get the job done just fine.

🟩 GU: Nigga, I could buy a whole pack of ballpoints for the price of one letter in your logo.

🖊️ MONTBLANC: Sir, our pens are crafted with the finest materials, featuring precision engineering and timeless design.

🟥 MG: Nigga, it’s a pen. It ain’t a spaceship.

🟨 OV: For real, why y’all acting like I need Swiss precision to write ‘fuck this class’ on my notebook?

🟩 GU: Nigga, why these pens got leather and gold accents? Am I writing a presidential pardon?

🖊️ MONTBLANC: Our Meisterstück series is a symbol of sophistication and success.

🟥 MG: Nigga, a symbol of what? I ain't never seen a rich nigga flex a pen.

🟨 OV: For real, who the fuck tryna impress someone with a pen? Nigga, just write the check and keep it moving.

🟩 GU: Nigga, why a pen cost as much as a Rolex service?

🖊️ MONTBLANC: Because it’s Montblanc.

🟥 MG: Nigga, what does that even mean?

🟨 OV: For real, why y’all named after a mountain? Nigga, this ain't a ski trip.

🟩 GU: Nigga, I ain’t tryna climb debt just to sign my name.

🖊️ MONTBLANC: Montblanc represents the pinnacle of European craftsmanship.

🟥 MG: Nigga, what pinnacle? This shit just a tube with ink in it.

🟨 OV: Nigga, if I drop this pen, is it gonna levitate back into my hand?

🟩 GU: For real, does this pen automatically sign my tax returns?

🖊️ MONTBLANC: Our pens are an investment.

🟥 MG: Nigga, investment into what? Bankruptcy?

🟨 OV: Nigga, nobody ever said ‘Damn, his pen game crazy’ and meant the actual pen.

🟩 GU: Nigga, for $2,000, this pen better write my autobiography for me.

🖊️ MONTBLANC: Our customers appreciate timeless luxury.

🟥 MG: Nigga, timeless? Ain’t nobody tryna pass down a pen through generations.

🟨 OV: Nigga, my grandkids ain’t gonna be like, ‘This is granddad’s legendary pen.’

🟩 GU: Nigga, this ain’t Excalibur, it’s a damn pen.

🖊️ MONTBLANC: Perhaps you’d be interested in our leather goods or timepieces?

🟥 MG: Nigga, I barely trust y’all with a pen, now y’all making watches too?

🟨 OV: For real, if I see ‘Montblanc’ on my wrist, I better be getting ready to take notes, not check the time.

🟩 GU: Nigga, why is every luxury brand tryna make watches now? This ain’t the Avengers.

🖊️ MONTBLANC: Montblanc is about heritage and craftsmanship.

🟥 MG: Nigga, your ‘heritage’ is school supplies.

🟨 OV: For real, y’all the world’s most expensive Staples.

🟩 GU: Nigga, y’all making corporate office flex culture worse.

🖊️ MONTBLANC: Would you like to test one of our fountain pens?

🟥 MG: Nigga, I ain't tryna write in the 1800s.

🟨 OV: For real, why y’all still making pens that need ink refills? Nigga, this ain’t Hogwarts.

🟩 GU: Nigga, this pen so old-school, I feel like I gotta dip it in ink and write the Declaration of Independence.

🔥 FINAL SCORE:
✅ Expensive pens look cool.
❌ Too bad they’re just fancy scams for corporate CEOs.