📍 SCENE: The crew is just chilling outside when suddenly…

🟩 GU: Ayo, someone pass me a lighter.

🟨 OV: Nigga, for what? You don’t even smoke.

🟩 GU: I was gonna burn this receipt from the IRS. Just tryna move on, man.

🟥 MG: Damn, nigga, you still thinking about taxes? Just let it go.

🟩 GU: I can’t! They took my whole paycheck and left me with McDonald's money.

🟨 OV: Nigga, you lucky. McDonald's ain't even in my budget no more.

🟥 MG: Alright, let’s go inside before we get depressed again—

🟩 GU: —AYO, SHIT! Trips on the curb and stubs his toe

🟩 GU: MOTHERF—OWWWW!!

🟥 MG: Damn, nigga, you good?

🟩 GU: Nigga, NO. MY TOE. THIS SHIT HURT LIKE HELL.

🟨 OV: Shit, we gotta take him to the hospital?

🟥 MG: Nigga, do you know how much that’s gonna cost?

🟩 GU: Man, I think I broke it!

🟨 OV: Aight, fuck it, let's go. But we only going if you about to die.

They rush to the hospital. The second they walk in, they already regret it.

👩‍⚕️ Receptionist: Hello! Do you have insurance?

🟩 GU: Uhhh… kinda?

👩‍⚕️ Receptionist: What do you mean ‘kinda’?

🟩 GU: I mean I got some, but I don’t know if it actually does anything.

🟨 OV: That nigga got discount insurance.

🟥 MG: Ayo, just get him a doctor. Nigga about to lose his toe.

👩‍⚕️ Receptionist: Okay! That’ll be a $500 consultation fee.

🟩 GU: FIVE HUNDRED?! NIGGA, FOR WHAT?

👩‍⚕️ Receptionist: For sitting in the waiting room!

🟩 GU: Nigga, I could sit in my car for free!

🟨 OV: Ayo, does insurance cover this?

👩‍⚕️ Receptionist: Depends! What plan do you have?

🟩 GU: I got the one from my job.

👩‍⚕️ Receptionist: Ah! So… nothing is covered.

🟩 GU: …Nigga, then what am I paying insurance for?

🟥 MG: Fr, y’all take money out his paycheck every month and then say 'Oops, not covered.' Nigga, this a scam.

🟨 OV: Nigga, how is healthcare worse than the IRS?

👩‍⚕️ Receptionist: Would you like to proceed?

🟩 GU: Nigga, I ain't got a choice! Just take me to a doctor before I die from financial stress.

CUT TO: Exam Room

👨‍⚕️ Doctor: Alright, let’s take a look. Hmm… looks like you stubbed it pretty bad.

🟩 GU: Nigga, I know.

👨‍⚕️ Doctor: Let’s take an X-ray.

🟥 MG: Ayo, how much is that?

👨‍⚕️ Doctor: Oh, just a simple $2,500.

🟨 OV: NIGGA, WHAT?!

🟩 GU: Nigga, just look at it! Why I gotta pay thousands for you to confirm my shit is fucked up?

👨‍⚕️ Doctor: Standard procedure!

🟥 MG: Nigga, this the most expensive game of ‘I Spy’ I’ve ever seen.

🟨 OV: Fr, they charging niggas Tesla money for an X-ray.

👨‍⚕️ Doctor: Alright, well, no fracture. Just a bad bruise!

🟩 GU: Cool. So what’s the treatment?

👨‍⚕️ Doctor: Ice pack and painkillers!

🟩 GU: …Nigga, I coulda done that at home!

🟥 MG: Nah nah, how much is the bill?

👩‍⚕️ Receptionist: Alright! Here’s the final breakdown!

MEDICAL BILL:

• Consultation Fee: $500

• X-ray: $2,500

• Ice Pack: $100

• Advil (1 pill): $50

• ‘Medical Processing Fee’: $800

• ‘Hospital Chair Usage Fee’: $200

• Total: $4,150

🟩 GU: NIGGA, FOR A STUBBED TOE?!

🟥 MG: Y’all charging this nigga rent money for a fuckin’ ice pack?!

🟨 OV: Bruh, this Advil cost 50 CENTS at Walmart. Why y’all charging $50 for one pill?

👩‍⚕️ Receptionist: That’s just our pricing!

🟥 MG: Nigga, who made the pricing? Satan?

🟩 GU: Fuck it. Charge it to my insurance.

👩‍⚕️ Receptionist: Ah… unfortunately, your plan only covers $50.

🟩 GU: FIFTY?! I PAY Y’ALL HUNDREDS EVERY MONTH!

👩‍⚕️ Receptionist: Sorry! You still owe $4,100.

🟥 MG: Nigga, they robbing you harder than the IRS.

🟨 OV: Fr, imagine getting taxed AND scammed by insurance in the same month. Nigga bout to be homeless.

🟩 GU: Man, I shoulda just let my toe fall off.

👩‍⚕️ Receptionist: Would you like to set up a payment plan?

🟩 GU: Nigga, I’m not financing a stubbed toe.

🟥 MG: Nah, we out. Let’s go buy an ice pack at Walmart for $3.

🟨 OV: Nigga, you better start a GoFundMe.

🟩 GU: Nigga, at this point, I might as well.

They leave, defeated.

🟥 MG: So… niggas really out here going broke over stubbed toes, huh?

🟨 OV: Bruh, imagine if he had an actual injury. Nigga would owe a house.

🟩 GU: Man, fuck insurance. I'm just gonna drink milk and hope for the best.