📍 SCENE: The crew walks into a sneaker store, looking at the shelves lined with overpriced shoes. A group of sneakerheads is gathered in the corner, hyping up some limited-edition drop.

🟥 MG: picks up a shoe Nigga… why this shit cost a whole rent check?

🟨 OV: Bruh, sneaker prices out here looking like down payments on a house.

🟩 GU: Nigga, Jordan 1s used to be like $100. Now they tryna make me pay $1,500 for some ‘𝘳𝘦𝘪𝘮𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘓𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘎𝘳𝘦𝘺 𝘎𝘳𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘺𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘌𝘥𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯’ bullshit. Nigga, it’s just a different shade of grey!

🟥 MG: Nike really out here selling the same shoe 50 times with slightly different colors. Nigga, I ain’t paying resale price for a shoe that dropped every year since ‘85.

🟨 OV: And Dunks? Bro, how the fuck they go from sitting in clearance bins to niggas out here acting like they found the holy grail?

🟩 GU: Resellers out here buying up every shoe like they Thanos collecting Infinity Stones.

🟥 MG: Nigga, why I gotta enter a raffle just to give y’all my money? Y’all acting like this shit a golden ticket to Willy Wonka’s factory.

🟨 OV: points at Adidas section And Adidas, y’all ain't safe either. How y’all gonna drop Kanye, then beg for him back after them Yeezys stopped selling?

🟩 GU: Adidas out here looking like a girl who broke up with her man, then realized he was paying all the bills.

🟥 MG: Bruh, nobody was buying them generic-ass UltraBoosts and Superstars anymore. They really thought niggas was gonna line up for some ‘Samba-core’ bullshit.

🟨 OV: And now they out here re-releasing Yeezys like it’s a remix album.

🟩 GU: Bro, Foam Runners? Them shits look like some Crocs that got left in the microwave.

🟥 MG: picks up a pair of Balenciaga shoes And speaking of dumbass designs… Nigga, Balenciaga out here selling shoes that look like they got ran over by a truck.

🟨 OV: Bro, the Paris Sneakers literally look like they found them in a landfill and said ‘Fuck it, let’s sell these for $1,900.’

🟩 GU: Balenciaga out here scamming niggas on a whole different level. These ‘worn-out’ shoes look like they belonged to a homeless dude in 2013.

🟥 MG: And Golden Goose? Nigga, who told y’all dirty shoes was luxury?

🟨 OV: Golden Goose out here selling shoes that look like somebody got stomped out at a concert.

🟩 GU: Bro, at this point, I might as well go roll around in some mud and sell my own ‘limited-edition distressed sneakers.

🟥 MG: And don’t even get me started on Crocs. Nigga, why y’all still trying to make these goofy-ass shoes a thing?

🟨 OV: Crocs been dropping collabs with everybody. They got collabs with KFC, McDonald's, Lightning McQueen… Nigga, who the fuck is out here tryna wear a bucket of chicken on their feet?

🟩 GU: And niggas swear by ‘em too. They be like ‘Nah bro, you just gotta put the sport mode on!’ Nigga, this ain’t a Tesla.

🟥 MG: looks at the wall of sneakers Man… I miss when shoes was just shoes.

🟨 OV: sighs Yeah… but niggas keep hyping up every release like it’s the cure for cancer.

🟩 GU: Fuck it, I’m just wearing slides from now on.