📍 SCENE: Luxury store showroom – or at least, a satirical version of one. Overly bright lighting. Marble floors. A mannequin dressed in a plain white tee… for $750. Everything looks expensive, but something about it feels off. At the center? MG, OV, and GU posted up on a pristine couch, staring at the price tags like they just saw a ghost.

🟥 MG (Marin Golub fan) grabs the $750 T-shirt, squints at the price tag.
🟨 OV (Off-White fan) deadpan, looking around the store.
🟩 GU (Gucci fan) leaning back, sipping an overpriced espresso.

👕 ROUND 1: THE DESIGNER HUSTLE

A montage plays—brand names flashing on the screen as the crew breaks them down.

🟥 MG: points at a plain designer hoodie on screen This? This is $1,200. For what? Nigga, if I see one more brand slap their logo on some Walmart-tier fabric and call it a ‘statement piece’—I’m losing my mind.

🟨 OV: shakes head These brands got y’all convinced that buying a crewneck with Helvetica font makes you part of the elite. Nigga, you just got finessed by a PowerPoint.

🟩 GU: laughing And don’t even get me started on the ‘distressed’ look. Niggas buying pre-ripped jeans like their wallet wasn’t already distressed enough.

💀 ROUND 2: BRAND REPUTATION VS. REALITY

The screen cuts to high-end stores—think Gucci, Balenciaga, LV. Then? Hard cuts to overseas factories, Alibaba listings, and resellers flipping the same products for pennies.

🟥 MG: Balenciaga charging four figures for some shit that look like it barely survived a Goodwill donation bin. These niggas out here selling irony as a flex.

🟨 OV: LV? Nigga, they got people out here dressing like a rich toddler on their first shopping spree. Mismatched patterns, goofy-ass color combos… it’s giving clown couture.

🟩 GU: And let’s talk about the people defending it. ‘You just don’t get fashion.’ Nigga, what’s there to get? They charging $3,000 for a trash bag. Y’all getting robbed in HD.

🚨 ROUND 3: THE TRUE COST OF HYPE

The final segment cuts to people lining up overnight, emptying their wallets for ‘exclusivity.’ Hypebeasts flexing, influencers unboxing, stock prices rising.

🟥 MG: leans in, serious tone This shit ain’t even about quality. It’s about status. These brands don’t sell clothes—they sell validation.

🟨 OV: nods Niggas dropping rent money to impress people that don’t even fuck with them. That’s the real scam.

🟩 GU: smirking, looking at the camera And the best part? The same people laughing at y’all? They wearing Uniqlo and still bagging more compliments than you.

💎 FINAL ROUND: BACK TO THE LUXURY STORE

The crew stands up. MG drops the overpriced tee back on the rack.

🟥 MG: Yeah… we done here.

As they walk out, a sales associate appears.

💼 Sales Associate: fake smile Can I help you find anything today?

🟨 OV: Yeah, some self-respect for the people still buying this bullshit.

CUT TO BLACK.

🔥 STATUS REPORT: SEASON 1 HAS OFFICIALLY BEGUN.