📍 SCENE: The writers’ room. The crew sits in a dimly lit office, staring at a blank script document. A massive screen in front of them plays the latest episode of Status Report. But they aren’t in it. Instead, they’re watching… someone else.

🟥 MG: staring at the screen Nigga, this is cursed.

🟨 OV: leaning back So we just… write the show now?

🟩 GU: scrolling on the computer Apparently. Mysterious Man made us the writers.

On screen, a new trio is roasting a brand they just wrote about. The alternate cast. 

🔴 ALT-MG: grinning Nigga, they really put out a whole-ass new iPhone and called it 'revolutionary' just for changing the volume buttons.

🟡 ALT-OV: shaking head Nigga, they put out a new phone every year and still ain’t fixed basic shit.

🟢 ALT-GU: laughing Nigga, iOS 19 still ain’t got calculator on iPad.

The crew watches in silence, processing the situation.

🟥 MG: slowly turns to the others Nigga… we got recast, these niggas don't even look like us.

🟨 OV: Nah, this is insane. We was THE SHOW. Now we just write the script?!

🟩 GU: still scrolling And edit it. And do research.

🟨 OV: Nigga, we got demoted to a 9-to-5.

The job reality. A notification pops up on the screen:

EPISODE 5 DEADLINE: 3 HOURS REMAINING.

🟥 MG: stressed Nigga, we gotta write an episode in THREE HOURS?!

🟩 GU: sighs I miss roasting shit.

🟨 OV: shaking head We really went from being the fire to writing the fire.

Mysterious Man appears behind them, watching the screen, checking in.

🕴️ Mysterious Man: grinning How’s the new job?

🟥 MG: glares Nigga, I hate you.

🕴️ Mysterious Man: smirks Good. Now get back to work.