📍 SCENE: The writers’ room. The main crew (now writers) is bored as hell, staring at their monitors.

🟥 MG: Nigga, I’m sick of watching these niggas do our job.

🟨 OV: For real, bruh. Like, what’s stopping us from just… editing old episodes?

🟩 GU: Nigga, say less.

ARCHIVE DATABASE – STATUS REPORT (CHAPTER 1).

They pull up the episode archives, scrolling through past seasons.

🟥 MG: Nigga, we got full access.

🟨 OV: grinning Nigga, let’s tweak some shit.

🟩 GU: clicking on an episode Ayo, run ‘Pentastic.’

STATUS REPORT – CHAPTER 1, SEASON 2, EPISODE 7 (ORIGINAL PENTASTIC EPISODE).

Everything plays out normally at first. The crew walks into Montblanc, roasts pens to hell and back.

🟩 GU: smirking Nigga, what if we changed the title to… "Penmidstic."

🟥 MG: Nah, nah, make it ‘Penterror.’

🟨 OV: Nigga, let’s make the Montblanc dude say some wild shit.

They edit the dialogue, warping reality.

🖊️ MONTBLANC: grinning creepily Gentlemen, did you know Montblanc pens are made from the bones of fallen English teachers?

🟥 MG: rewinding Nigga, what did he just say?

🟨 OV: wheezing This is canon now.

More revisions.

🟩 GU: Nigga, we should swap the Alternate Cast into old episodes.

🟥 MG: dragging files Nigga, done.

🟨 OV: Now let’s change their outfits.

They swap the alternate cast’s outfits to be matching Montblanc suits, making them look like luxury salesmen.

🔴 ALT-MG: polished British accent Gentlemen, may I interest you in a $2,000 bone pen?

🟡 ALT-OV: sipping tea Quite the investment, wouldn’t you say?

🟢 ALT-GU: adjusting pocket square A pinnacle of corporate deception.

Writers’ room – they're dying laughing.

🟥 MG: crying Nigga, what did we just do?

🟨 OV: We ruined history.

🟩 GU: clicking more episodes Nigga, let’s do more.

STATUS REPORT – CHAPTER 1, SEASON 3, EPISODE 9.

They edit it to make Dollar Store employees speak entirely in binary.

STATUS REPORT – CHAPTER 1, SEASON 4, EPISODE 1.

They make Blorg accidentally discover Gucci handbag.

STATUS REPORT – CHAPTER 1, SEASON 1, EPISODE 1.

They swap themselves out for random stock photo models.

Reality is breaking, the timeline glitches. The alternate cast starts flickering in and out of existence, and past episodes start collapsing in on themselves. Mysterious Man appears.

🕴️ Mysterious Man: appearing in static WHAT HAVE YOU DONE.

🟥 MG: nervous Nigga, we just tweaked some old episodes.

🟨 OV: Just a couple edits.

🟩 GU: pointing at screen Nigga, it was funny though.

🕴️ Mysterious Man: YOU’RE FIRED.