📍 SCENE: A group of cavemen are huddled in the cold, shivering and miserable. One dude, let’s call him Blorg, is in the corner doing some weird shit with rocks.

🟤 Gronk the Cold: Nigga, what are you doing?

🟠 Blorg the Genius: Bro… I think I’m onto something.

🟤 Gronk: Nah, you onto some bullshit. We out here dying and you playing Minecraft.

Suddenly, a spark appears, followed by a tiny flame.

🟠 Blorg: HOLY SHIT.

🟤 Gronk: Nigga, WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT???

🟠 Blorg: I DUNNO, BUT IT’S HOT AS HELL!

The flame grows bigger. The cavemen back up, eyes wide as if they just saw a UFO.

⚫ Borg the Dumbass: Yo… is that a tiny sun?

🟤 Gronk: Nigga, we inside a cave. How TF you think the sun got in here?

⚫ Borg: I DUNNO, IT LOOKS LIKE ONE!

Blorg is hyped as hell, waving his hands around.

🟠 Blorg: We can use this to cook food, keep warm, and scare off those big-ass wolves!

🟣 Thog the Skeptic: Nah, this shit is witchcraft.

🟤 Gronk: Man, if this is witchcraft, sign me the fuck up, cause I’m tired of eating frozen mammoth ass.

⚫ Borg: CAN I TOUCH IT?

🟠 Blorg: Nigga, NO—

Borg immediately sticks his hand in the fire. It goes about as well as you’d expect.

⚫ Borg: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Borg runs around screaming, waving his burnt hand.

🟣 Thog: See? Witchcraft.

🟤 Gronk: Or maybe Borg’s just dumb as shit.

Blorg, still hyped, looks around.

🟠 Blorg: We gotta name this thing!

🟣 Thog: Call it ‘Devil Light.’

⚫ Borg: still crying Call it ‘Oww Fuck.’

🟤 Gronk: Nigga, let’s just call it fire.

🟠 Blorg: Fire… yeah, that sounds dope as hell!

Suddenly, a random old caveman walks in.

⚪ Elder Brogg: Back in my day, we ain’t need no fire. We just suffered like real men.

🟤 Gronk: Nigga, shut yo prehistoric ass up.