📍 SCENE: The crew is sitting at a fast-food joint, staring at their meals with disappointment. Greasy-ass wrappers, sad-looking fries, and a drink that's mostly ice.

🟥 MG: picks up his burger and squints Nigga… why this shit look like it got jumped?

🟨 OV: Bruh, the menu picture had this shit lookin' like a 5-star gourmet burger. Now I’m looking at a soggy ass hockey puck with depression.

🟩 GU: pokes his fries Nigga, why are my fries limp? These shits look like they got erectile dysfunction.

🟥 MG: And KFC? Nigga, why y’all keep running out of chicken? How the fuck is that even possible? That’s like Nike running out of shoes.

🟨 OV: Nigga, Popeyes chicken sandwich had y’all niggas fighting for your lives. Motherfuckers was out here throwing hands in the drive-thru.

🟩 GU: Bro, McDonald's got the audacity to serve this mystery meat McPatty and act like we won't notice. This ain’t beef, this ain’t chicken, this ain't even food.

🟥 MG: Nigga, the McChicken tastes like it was made from pigeons that failed drug tests.

🟨 OV: And their ice cream machine? That shit has been broken since 2003. Nigga, did Steve Jobs invent that machine, cuz y’all treating it like a dead legend.

🟩 GU: I swear, I walked in once and asked for a McFlurry. Nigga told me ‘It’s not working’ before I even finished my sentence.

🟥 MG: Bruh, Taco Bell? Why the fuck does everybody get diarrhea from this shit?

🟨 OV: Taco Bell out here selling explosive devices wrapped in tortillas. Niggas out here ordering a Crunchwrap Supreme and then fighting for their life on the toilet.

🟩 GU: Real shit, you take one bite of a Doritos Locos Taco and your stomach be like ‘𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙞 𝙖𝙢 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙚𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙢𝙖𝙣𝙨 𝙬𝙝𝙤𝙡𝙚 𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙚𝙧.’

🟥 MG: Nigga, Burger King? Bruh, who still eats here? Every Burger King parking lot look like a damn zombie apocalypse.

🟨 OV: Burger King employees be looking at you crazy when you actually order food. Like ‘Nigga, you really want this?’

🟩 GU: Bro, the Whopper? That shit big as fuck for no reason. I take one bite and it’s already collapsing like a Jenga tower.

🟥 MG: And Subway? Nigga, why y’all still out here acting like Jared never happened?

🟨 OV: Nigga, Subway bread is legally classified as cake. You out here eating a footlong sugar loaf and wondering why you feel sick.

🟩 GU: And Five Guys? Nigga, why is my meal costing me a mortgage payment?

🟥 MG: Bruh, $18 for a burger and fries? At that point, I might as well go to a real restaurant.

🟨 OV: And they give you a whole ass bag of fries. Like nigga, I asked for a medium, not a potato farm.

🟩 GU: Bruh, they dump more fries in the bag than a nigga who lost all hope in life.

🟥 MG: All these places out here scamming. And then they still got the nerve to ask me if I wanna donate to some random-ass charity. Nigga, donate me some fresh food first!

🟨 OV: deep sigh Bruh… we might as well just start cooking at home.

🟩 GU: scrolls on phone Hold up… y’all ever heard of Salt Bae’s restaurant?

🟥 MG: Oh, you talkin’ bout the place where niggas pay $1,200 for a steak covered in aluminum foil?

🟨 OV: Yeah, where they charge you extra just for the waiter to wear gloves.

🟩 GU: Nigga, if I’m paying that much for a steak, Salt Bae himself better personally hunt the cow, grill it in front of me, and then perform a live concert while I eat.

🟥 MG: Yeah, fuck that. Let’s just go home and make some ramen.