📍 SCENE: The crew walks into a bank. Everything looks fancy as hell—marble floors, chandeliers, and a dude in a suit who clearly hates his life. A teller greets them with the fakest smile ever.

💳 Bank Teller: Welcome to Case Bank, how can I scam—uh, I mean, help you today?

🟩 GU: Yeah, I’d like to open a checking account.

💳 Bank Teller: Of course! We have several options for you. Our standard checking account comes with a $15 monthly fee, unless you keep at least $10,000 in it at all times.

🟩 GU: Nigga, WHAT?! Who the hell just got 10K sitting around?!

🟨 OV: Nah, nah, tell me why they charge you money for having money.

💳 Bank Teller: Well, if that doesn’t work for you, we have a 'free' account. All you need to do is make at least 10 transactions a month, maintain a minimum balance of $2,500, and sell your firstborn child.

🟥 MG: Nigga, what kinda pyramid scheme bank account is this?

💳 Bank Teller: And would you like to sign up for one of our exclusive credit cards? 0% interest for the first 3 months!

🟩 GU: And then what?

💳 Bank Teller: After that, it’s 29.99% APR—but don’t worry! You can just pay the minimum each month, and you’ll only be in debt until you die!

🟨 OV: Nigga, banks really invented debt like it’s a feature.

💳 Bank Teller: And for just $5 a month, you can access your own money at any ATM!

🟥 MG: Nigga, why do I gotta PAY to use MY money?!

💳 Bank Teller: Sir, we don’t make the rules.

🟩 GU: Nigga, YES YOU DO!

A random customer walks in, looking mad as hell.

👴 Old Man: Y’all froze my account for 'suspicious activity' just 'cause I bought a sandwich!

💳 Bank Teller: Sir, we take fraud prevention very seriously!

👴 Old Man: But when someone steals my card and buys 10 MacBooks in Dubai, y’all just let it slide?!

💳 Bank Teller: Well, they entered the PIN correctly!

🟨 OV: Nahhh, banks protect scammers more than their own customers.

Suddenly, a security guard walks up to the old man.

👮 Security: Sir, I’m gonna have to ask you to leave. You’re causing a disturbance.

👴 Old Man: I’m just tryna get MY money! This is MY account!

👮 Security: Sir, the bank technically owns your money.

🟥 MG: Nigga, HUH?!

💳 Bank Teller: Oh, speaking of which, would you like to sign up for our investment account? We can manage your money for you!

🟩 GU: Y’all gonna make me rich?

💳 Bank Teller: Oh no, you’ll probably lose money, but we still take management fees every year! 

🟨 OV: Nigga, y’all just stealing at this point.

The crew walks out, disgusted.

🟥 MG: Banks are just legal loan sharks.

🟩 GU: Yeah, next time I’m keeping my money under the mattress.